Oh bloody hell!
by lucyneko-chan
Summary: this is Ch2 of Oh shi- it shows what happens after Japan gets to England's and also what happens to Arthur and Alfred in the other world. USUK and PrCa... T for British swearing


**Oh bloody hell!**

This is chapter two of Oh Shi- because someone asked me to do another chapter so I hope that they like it also I'm sorry if it disappoints you : )

I was sat at home drinking my tea (like normal) and picking at one of my scones while the rain attacked my window (nothing unusual about that)

however the one thing that was out of place in this other wise conmen routine was the obnoxious albino that was currently sat opposite me...(uncommon... very uncommon indeed.)

"So to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit Prussia?" I asked slightly curious as I set my tea cup back down on its saucer. My emerald eyes grew wide at the sight that was now before me (one that was about as rear as Switzerland picking a side) there sat before me was a fidgeting, nervous and heavy blushing (self-proclaimed 'Awesome!') Prussia.

"..Umm.. Well... Well I was looking up some awesome way for me to confess y' know cos I'm Awesome!... and-and well I couldn't find any so.." the flustered Prussia trailed off, I'm glad that I set my teacup down because if I was holding it... it would be shards on the floor.

I blinked a few times before coughing into my hand trying to regain my (Gentlemanly) composure.

"I have to say Prussia old chap that I'm flattered that you came to me for love advise... but as much as I hate... Truly hate to admit it France is the country of love wouldn't it have been better to go to him?... Spain is the country of passion and even the little Italians are the country of seduction so why have you come to me?" I asked truly flattered that the Prussian came to me for advise, he scratched the back of his head shyly as he looked every were but at me

"Um... well there is another reason why I came to you, you see before I came here I asked my brother 'If he loved some one how would he go about it?' and he said that he would first gain permission from the father... but because the one I li- love is a country they don't have a father so I went to the one who would most likely be there father figure so to speak..." he trailed off once again staring at his hands that rested in his lap.

"So I'm the father figure of this country that you have fallen for?-" he nodded

"-... Is it my sister Northern Island?-"

"Nicht."

"- It's not Sealand is it?-"

"Nicht!"

"-Oh that's good scared me for a minute there... is it Hong Kong?-"

"Nicht!"

"-Australia?-"

"Nicht!"

"-New Zealand?"

"Its Canada!" Prussia shouted and then immediately covered his mouth with his hands as his face matched his eyes

"Canada?" I asked quite surprised that the loud (Awesome) Prussian would fall in love with the shy and quite little Canadian, he nodded and gulped

"Y-yes, I would like permission from birdi-Canada's father figure... and before you say that France is more of Canada's father let me tell you that your wrong, France may be one of my best buds but no one in there right minds would ever see that pervert as a father figure... There creepy pedo uncle perhaps but a father nicht." Prussia spoke seriously with out even mentioning 'how awesome' he is... wow he must be serous

"Well lad I have to say I have no problem with you dating our dear little Canadian." I said picking up my tea once more, Prussia jumped out of his seat

"What really!?"

"Why yes I think that you two would make a cute couple... however I am not going to force Canada into this like a bloody arranged marriage, you will have to woo him over on your own boy but I will support you from the side lines... I think Canada's over at Americas today why don't you pay him a visit?" I said chuckling slightly at the end, Prussia pulled me into a hug almost spilling my tea

"Das ist genial! Danke!" he said as he let go and sprang out of my house like a bat out of hell

"Bloody twit." I muttered to my self with a smile on my face happily surrounded with the silence once more.

"Konbanwa, England-san." a polite voice said clearly

"Aah!" I screamed as I dropped my cup and jumped out of my seat only to turn and see

"Bloody hell Japan your like a ninja! How did you get into my house?" I asked trying to calm my heart as I picked my teacup back up (luckily I just drank the last of it before Japan came in)

"I'm very sorry to have startled you England-san, Prussia-san left the door wide open when he left but don't worry I closed it upon entering I hope that you can forgive the intrusion." he said bowing respectfully, I just waved my hand dismissing his apology

"It's fine Japan don't worry about it, so what did you need from me?" I asked leaning on the arm of my antique couch, a strange almost comical smile spread across my Japanese friends face

"Its not what I need from you but what you 'need' from me so to speak."

"Hum? And what is it that I need from you my friend?" I asked curiosity getting the better of me, he smiled grew bigger as he stepped closer to me but not invading my personal space

"All you need from me is this." he said as he handed me a blank DVD, I stared at it for a few moments before going to ask what it was however before I asked him he was gone..

"You really are like a ninja aren't you Japan" I said absent-mindedly as I walked over to my slightly small TV, I was about to play the DVD when yet another visitor barged into my home uninvited...

"England!" A loud Yankee voice yelled making me jump

"America?" I asked taking in the younger countries appearance, he was out of breath and looked slightly more scruffy than usual, his clothes clung to his skin from the rain, the fabric out lined his abs and other muscles, the English rain still ran down his handsome face and past those baby blue eyes that could melt a heart of stone (not that England would ever admit it)

"W-what the bloody hell are you doing in my house you wanker!" I yelled trying desperately to pass of the blush as anger

"I-I well... Did Japan come here?" he asked stuttering slightly as he came closer to me

"Yes he did come round, he dropped of a DVD and then left however I don't see how this concerns yo- hey that the bloody blast do you think your doing!" I yelled once I saw him dive for the DVD player he took the DVD out and I tried to grab it only for it to be held out of my reach

"That's mine you arse hole give it back!" I shouted as I tried to grab it, it's just a pity that this Yankee idiot was taller (hotter) and stronger than me

"No can do England, I will not let you see what's on this DVD!" he said stubbornly trying to push me away however nether he or I counted on me slipping on my carpet floor

"Meep!" I squeaked as I grabbed onto something for support that something being the united states of America..

**Thud**

We lay on the floor in silence, me spread out on my back, blush spread over my cheek's and America crouching over me on his hands and knees, his eyes darkened a shade as he bent his head lower to meet mine.

I closed my eyes the second out lips connected and let out a soft mewl of need (which I will deny later) after a few mints of kissing softly we parted both our breathing ragged, America looked down at me his eyes full of lust and love

"Do you love me England?" he asked in a begging tone that made me flush a deeper shade of red

"What you think I would just kiss anyone that comes along? well sorry to disappoint you but I'm not France." I said sarcasticly and before he could comment back I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer so that I could seductively whisper into his ear

"Enough talking, how about a bit of hows your father? Hmm, cowboy?" I felt a shiver run down his spine before our lips connected once more...

"~**McDonald's McDonald's Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut**~"

the sudden song made us separate and I was both confused and annoyed at the song for interrupting us, Americas face paled and then he blushed heavily as he straddled my hips and reached into his jeans pocket pulling out his phone that was playing the song

"Hahahahahahaha!" I started laughing holding my stomach with both hands as America stayed sat on my hips (not putting his weight on me tho)

"Don't laugh at me!" he half whined half growled as he turned off his phone and through it onto my couch

"Hahahahaha... You.. that -hahaha- you have that as your ring tone? Haha- oh it hurts -ahahaha!" I gasped between laughing fits, It was so obvious that that song would be his ring tone that it was hilarious!

"I guess I'm going to have to do something to make you stop laughing then aren't I?" America whispered into my ear

"You can try love but I wouldn't make it easy for you~" I purred still giggling slightly, he chuckled and bit my bottom lip softly

"It's okay I like a challenge~"

…... [In another world]...

"So tell me again why your sleeping at my house Alfred?" I asked nervously, I mean who wouldn't be nervous having your boyfriend sleeping over under the same roof in the same bed! I looked back at the teen in question my boyfriend Alfred .F. Jones

"I want to make sure your safe and don't catch a cold or something in the night because you were outside at the park until nearly 10!" he whined in defence

"How did you even know I wasn't at home?" I asked blushing when I remembered the kiss we shared there

"I have my sources! And besides the Hero knows everything!" he chuckled as he pulled my arm so that I landed softly on my bed ruffling my Union jack duvet cover, I squeaked slightly as Alfred crawled on top of me straddling my hips

"Come on Artie sleeping with me ain't all that bad~" he whispered as emeralds locked with sapphires, I gulped as he leaned down unfortunately our kiss was put on hold when

"~**McDonald's McDonald's Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut**~"

he sat up and pulled out his phone cursing the interruption I gave him a look that clearly said 'You still have that as your ring tone?' he looked at me and said

"Hey if you can have the James bond theme tune as yours then I can have this one."

"Yellow?... Oh hey Tony good timing man I need you to tell mom that I'm sleeping at a friends house tonight okay dude?... I am at a friends house!... Yes I'm at my boyfriends house but it still had 'friend' in the name so I'm not lying!... come on dude just cover for us!... Yay! Thanks Tony your the best see ya later bro!" and with that the phone was tossed to the side as the American smiled down at me

"Now where, were we.." he asked voice like honey, I tangled my fingers into his soft hair as we kissed

**FLASH**

we both jumped opening our eyes and sitting up.

In the door way to my bedroom there stood a man with red fire hair, green emerald eyes polished with amusement, a devil like smirk on his lips and a camera in his hands...

There stood my oldest brother Scot Krickland

and just as quick as he took the pitcher he left, both of us paled and ran after him only to bump into my other two siblings on the landing

There stood my second and third oldest brothers

2nd Patrick Krickland, his hair as red as Scots, emerald eyes, his pale face littered with freckles he was wearing a green shirt that said 'Kiss me I'm Irish~'

3rd Conner Krickland, he had soft brown hair and emerald eyes that were dull with boredom, he had his left ear pierced and the earring that he had in was a little sheep, he also had a shirt with the welsh flag on

"Why the rush boy'o?" Patrick asked me with a smile, when he spots Alfred behind me his smile fades and instead he scowls however when Conner spots him it awakes an entirely different response, he smiled and his eyes brightened

"I didn't know you were having a boy over little brother, should we leave you two alone tonight? Or should we just wear earmuffs?" he chuckled when me and Alfred blushed but my other brother did not seem as amused

"Like hell I will let that happen! How could you even suggest that to little Artie you bloody sheep shager!" Patrick fumed

"Oi! Don't start fighting with Conner you dummy!" I shrilled yell came from behind us

"Oh not you again, run back to the cave you crawled out from troll!" Patrick screamed back...

At my sister, Fiona Krickland (Patrick's Twin) she had curly red hair and a face full of freckles, she had green eyes that looked like molten lava she was wearing a white shirt with a rainbow that had a pot of gold at the bottom on it. She and Patrick started fighting on one side of the landing... I swear they fight like Northern Island and Island.

"kuhaha~" Conner chuckled slightly and then he handed Alfred a small box

"Ignore Pat he just has a little brother complex, here use these and look after my Arthur~" he said with a wink and then went down to the end of the hall to watch the fight, I heard Alfred gasp in surprise I turned to see that he was now as red as that hoodie his brother always wears

"What's wrong love?" I asked worried, he then showed me the box that Conner gave him

"Eep!" I squeaked as my expression mirrored Alfred's...

My brother had handed my boyfriend... a box of condoms...

Extra large... cherry flavour... condoms

before I could yell an entire dictionary worth of British insults my name came from the floor below

"Arthur!" my mother (Alice Krickland) shouted

"Yes mother!" I shouted back as we walked towards the stairs after Alfred through the box into my room

"Honey I need to talk to you and Alfred about this pitcher!" she said sternly

both me and Al froze, oh my god Scot showed my mother the pitcher of me and Alfred kissing! On my bed! With him on top of me!

"Oh bloody hell!"

(from google translate sorry if they are wrong!)

Nicht- No

Das ist genial! Danke!- That is awesome! Thank you!

Konbanwa- good evening

UK:

Scot- Scotland

he likes to make Arthur's and his siblings life hell but still loves them

Patrick- Island

over protective big brother, Arthur is his favourite and he hate his sister (because there personalises clash)

Fiona- Northern Island

big sister who plays the role of mother when she's not there and hates her twin brother

Conner- Wales

the most calm and relaxed out of the Krickland's, he finds it amusing when his siblings fight and wants Arthur to be happy

I hope you like my version of the UK and Americas ring tone


End file.
